Going to a funeral demands subdued and respectful attire. For a man, the tie he wears plays a major role in maintaining that atmosphere. It's not merely about donning a suit – a proper tie can convey solemnity, demonstrate respect for the deceased, and show awareness of formal etiquette. Whether you're preparing to attend a funeral or advising someone else, this article will guide you in selecting the appropriate tie and outfit pairing.
Let's discuss what to wear to a funeral — specifically ties such as skinny ties, bow ties for men, and the traditional black funeral tie.
Why Your Tie Choice Matters at a Funeral
At a funeral, attire is symbolic. A tie is not merely a fashion accessory — it is a sign of respect and solidarity. Wearing the correct tie enhances your overall look, ensures you're appropriately dressed for the occasion, and avoids drawing unwanted attention.
A poorly selected tie — too bright, patterned, or informal — can be interpreted as insensitive or distracting.
General Funeral Attire Guidelines for Men
Before moving on to tie-specific tips, here's a quick overview of appropriate funeral clothing:
- Suit: A dark-coloured suit — navy, charcoal, or black. Conservative and well-tailored.
- Shirt: Plain white or light-coloured shirt. Avoid stripes or bold patterns.
- Shoes: Black, polished dress shoes are best.
- Accessories: Keep it minimal. A simple watch and dark socks are sufficient.
Now that the base is covered, your tie is the final touch to complete the look.
Selecting the Right Tie for a Funeral
Here's what to consider when choosing a tie for a funeral:
1. Black Funeral Tie: The Gold Standard
The most conventional and safest choice is a black funeral tie. It suits the serious mood of the occasion and is generally expected at formal services.
Why it works:
- Accepted everywhere
- Pairs well with any dark-coloured suit
- Symbolises mourning and respect
Tip: Avoid shiny materials. Choose matte or slightly textured fabrics such as wool or grenadine for a refined appearance.
2. Skinny Ties: Modern but Discreet
Skinny ties offer a more contemporary style but must be chosen carefully. If worn appropriately, they’re suitable for less traditional services, particularly among younger mourners.
How to wear a skinny tie to a funeral:
- Opt for plain black or dark charcoal
- Avoid glossy or patterned fabrics
- Pair with a slim-fit suit to maintain proportion
When to avoid: If the funeral is highly traditional or religious, a classic-width tie is the safer option.
3. Bow Ties for Men: A Delicate Balance
While men's bow ties are typically reserved for formal or statement fashion, they can be appropriate at a funeral if they hold sentimental value or were favoured by the deceased.
Things to keep in mind:
- Use matte black material — avoid shiny fabrics
- Opt for a self-tie over a clip-on for a more respectful look
- Consider the setting — a bow tie might stand out in conservative environments
Bow ties may be worn respectfully, but discretion is key. They’re best for those who wear them regularly and can carry the look with sincerity.
Ties Not to Wear to a Funeral
It’s equally important to know which ties to avoid. Some styles can appear unsuitable or distracting.
Avoid:
- Bright colours (e.g. red, orange, yellow)
- Bold patterns (e.g. florals, cartoons, flashy stripes)
- Novelty ties
- Glittery or shiny materials
While you may feel tempted to wear something expressive, a funeral calls for elegance and dignity above all else.
Colour Choices (If Black Isn’t Mandatory)
Although black is the traditional option, some funerals — particularly those framed as celebrations of life — may permit a more relaxed dress code. In such cases, consider the following alternatives:
- Dark charcoal or grey ties
- Deep navy blue (extremely understated)
- Subtle patterns (e.g. herringbone or muted stripes)
When in doubt, consult the family or check the funeral announcement for dress code guidance.
Alternate Tie Designs (When Allowed)
Cultural or family preferences may allow for some variation in tie styles. In such cases, consider:
- Textured black ties – Adds depth while retaining formality
- Wool ties – Especially suitable for winter services
- Knitted ties – Acceptable if understated and in dark shades
As always, if unsure, it’s best to stick with classic black.
Final Presentation Advice
Respectful attire is not only about the tie — your overall grooming and presentation matter too.
- Tie Knot: Use classic knots like the Four-in-Hand or Half-Windsor
- Tie Length: The tip should reach your belt line — neither shorter nor longer
- Tie Clip: If worn, keep it plain and either silver or black
- Iron Your Tie: A wrinkled tie can undermine an otherwise respectful appearance
FAQs: Funeral Tie Etiquette
Is a black tie appropriate for a funeral? Yes, a black funeral tie is not only appropriate but also expected. It reflects mourning and is considered a mark of respect across cultures and religious traditions.
Is it disrespectful to not wear a tie at a funeral? It can be, depending on the formality of the service and your relationship to the deceased. While some funerals may allow open-collar shirts, a tie is generally a respectful and safe choice.
When should a black tie be worn? A black tie should be worn at funerals, memorial services, and other solemn occasions. In a black-tie formal event context, it typically refers to a black bow tie for men worn with a dinner jacket.
Do men wear black ties to funerals? Yes, it is customary for men to wear black funeral ties to funerals. This long-standing tradition demonstrates reverence and ensures attire is modest and appropriate.
